Supporting people when they need help is an amazing thing to do; however, there are many different ways to do it. The first and most important thing to consider is how does the person want to be supported? We tend to want to give what we would want to receive. But this does not always work for the person that we are trying to support!

I can give you an example. Have you noticed that when people are sick, they want different things? You may like a lot of attention, to be snuggled, to be checked on often, so that is how you treat your partner when they are sick. However, it turns out your partner wants nothing more to be completely and totally left alone, even to the point of their asking you to quietly slide food into the room, no talking please!

So, how to handle this? Ask! People are not mind-readers. No matter how much you love someone, you do not know for sure what your partner wants, unless you ask! The question, whether it is to someone close to you or not, for illness or another reason, can be as simple as, “How can I best support you?”

Please hear the answer given and respect what they say. Remember that sometimes the most loving thing that you can do is to be a shoulder to lean on when necessary and nothing more.

And do not forget to tell those close to you how they can best support you when you need it!