Pronouns have become a very hot topic. People can be very offended by being asked to use something different than the traditional pronouns in the traditional ways. I will say I have had an issue using they for an individual, but that is about grammatical rules that are embedded in my brain.

I was listening to a speaker discussing the reluctance to use pronouns. She stated that using someone else’s pronouns is not causing harm to us, but it well might cause harm to them. That struck me. It causes me no harm to use their pronouns. I may have to work a little harder to remember, but that is on me, not them. I use their name, even if it is unfamiliar to me or difficult for me to pronounce. I refer to them by their stated ethnicity. For example, if the person that I am speaking to prefers Black or African American, I use what they choose.

If someone decided to tell me that my religion was not what I practice, I would be horribly offended. They have no right to tell me what my religion is or should be. What right do I have to do the same thing over someone else’s pronouns?

We do not get to define others just because it  make us more comfortable, especially if it causes someone else damage. We can tolerate discomfort. Sometimes the harm that we are causing is the tipping point of someone choosing to end their lives. My momentary discomfort is nothing compared to that!

So, I know it is uncomfortable. I know that we do not want to change. But please stretch yourself a bit to help not damage another. Please treat others gently. Please do the same to yourself! We can make this world a better place for all.